Fandom: Final Fantasy VII: Crisis Core
Characters: Angeal/Genesis, Sephiroth, Zack, Lazard, Kunsel.
Contents: Urination, medical issues.
Word Count: 2343
The Mission: Prequel | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27
Angeal opened the door to see a crimson blur diving into the bedroom. “Don’t look at me,” it shrieked, “For Gaia’s sake, don’t look at me!”
The door slammed shut before Angeal was even all the way inside the apartment. He sighed. “Gen,” he called, not expecting an answer. He took the time to get his boots off and straighten them properly on the shoe rack, giving Genesis a little time to compose himself.
“Gen,” he called again at the door, rapping it lightly. “Gen, I need to use the bathroom.”
“Then go to your place,” Genesis said. “Don’t you have one?”
“Yes.” Angeal rested his forehead against the door. “But I’m already here. Come on, be a sport. I was on a desert mission and I had to stay hydrated. The tank’s under pressure.”
“Not my problem,” Genesis said. Angeal could almost see the pout.
“It will be your problem if I can’t manage to make it out your apartment in time,” Angeal said. There was no answer. Ordinarily Angeal would have been prepared to wait Genesis out, but the situation was becoming a bit desperate.
“Gen, I know you’ve got a facial mask on. It’s no big deal. I’ve known about it for years.”
There was a small squeak from beyond the door. Angeal smirked. “Open the door for me, Gen, please?” He heard the sound of feet shuffling on carpet and hesitant breathing just beyond the door.
“Promise you won’t laugh?” Genesis said.
“I won’t even look if you don’t want me to,” Angeal said.
“Swear?” Genesis said.
“Swear,” Angeal said, “Promise by my heart and guts, or let a moogle steal my nuts.”
“Hmmm,” Genesis dithered by the door. “Okay. But you can’t come in until I say so!” Angeal was too busy jittering to roll his eyes. “Okay,” Genesis said, sounding further inside. “It’s open.”
Angeal flung the door open wide and hustled into the bathroom, catching a glimpse of Genesis huddling on the bed as he went. He made quick work of it, rocking his hips around in relief as he counted down the stream. It took a while. Angeal made a sound of sympathy for his poor strained bladder, but under desert heat too much water was better than too little. After checking the rim of the bowl for spillage, he zipped up and went to wash his hands.
“Gen?” he called, “I’m coming back out in a little.” He took his time with the hand towel, giving Genesis every spare second that he could.
When he came out, Genesis was sitting on the far side of the bed, back to the bathroom door. His robe was pulled up over his head. Angeal tsked. “Won’t the silk strain if you stretch it like that?”
“It’s just for a second,” Genesis said. Angeal could see his fists tightening on the edge of the bed.
“Gen,” Angeal said, “you don’t have to hide from me.”
Genesis’s shoulders slumped. “How long have you known?”
“From the beginning, maybe?” Angeal ventured to sit on the other side of the bed. “Come on, Gen, you’ve had dry skin since we were kids. I’ve seen the size of your lotion collection.”
“They keep making new scents,” Genesis said. The robe slipped from his head. His back went rigid. “Promise you won’t laugh?”
“I’ve known all this time and I haven’t laughed yet,” Angeal said.
“Not on the outside.”
Angeal exhaled. “Not on the inside either, promise. Now come on, turn around. It’s not so scary.”
Genesis steeled himself. “Okay. But if you laugh, you’re sleeping on the couch for a week.” He turned. Angeal looked right at him and didn’t say a word. “Well?” Genesis asked. “Do I look like the ‘Mud Man of Mideel’?”
“Nah,” Angeal said. “Not lumpy enough. You been watching those cheesy horror flicks with Zack again?”
Genesis picked at the sheets. “He likes the cuddling after.”
“What’s in that stuff?” Angeal asked, gesturing to the paste slathered on Genesis’s face.
“Strawberry and banana puree, a little milk and honey.” Genesis shrugged. “We have to use the stuff up, and this is supposed to be moisturizing.”
Angeal’s brow furrowed. “Does it work?”
“Does it work?”
Genesis turned away shyly. “I have no complaints.”
“Good. Got any more?”
Genesis looked up properly for the first time since Angeal had come in. Angeal shrugged at him. “You know how it is, riding in the back of those trucks across a burning desert. I feel like my face got sandblasted.”
“Oh.” Genesis nodded. “There’s a bowl in the fridge.”
“Genesis, are you home?” Sephiroth called. He noted the sound of the television and the two pairs of boots by the door. “Angeal, you too?” He bent down to work his own boots off. “I’ve been trying that thing you recommended, Gen, about pretending that everybody is always talking about sex.” He straightened, one boot in hand. “It’s pretty entertaining.”
“Good for you, Seph,” Angeal called.
“I’ve never had that much fun at a meeting in my life,” Sephiroth said. “Tseng’s got quite a mouth on him, when he bothers to use it.”
“I’d just bet,” Genesis snickered.
“Lazard seemed twitchy today, though,” Sephiroth said, moving into the kitchen for a glass of water. “Do you think he was on to me?”
He came back out to find Angeal parked on the couch in his pajamas, his face covered in some sort of lumpy goo, one of Genesis’s occasionally homemade, never acknowledged facial masks. Genesis sat up behind Angeal, face similarly plastered, lifting one cucumber slice off his eye before waving shyly. “Hi there.”
Sephiroth cocked his head to one side, then turned his gaze to Angeal. “Strawberry and banana,” Angeal said. “My skin does feel pretty good now, actually. Thanks, Gen.”
“You’re welcome.” Genesis sank backwards into the couch and set his cucumber slice back in place, heedless of being seen in his current condition.
Sephiroth shrugged and headed over to his chair. “I guess everybody’s trying new things today.”
“We might have a problem,” Lazard said.
“What, no more honeysuckle lube in the store again?” Kunsel asked.
“No, no, I made sure I stocked up properly after the last time,” Lazard said. “I mean there might be a problem with Sephiroth and Genesis.”
“Uh oh.” Kunsel jammed his helmet down tighter. “Trouble in paradise?”
Lazard sighed. “I suspect so. Today, I think General Sephiroth was actually flirting with me.”
“You sure it wasn’t just....” Kunsel’s lips made the slight twist they did when the hidden part of his face was frowning hard. “You know what my grandma used to say, ‘Make sure the glimmer in their eyes isn’t just a reflection from your own’.”
Lazard bowed his head so his glasses would not catch the light. “I’d like to think I’ve maintained a certain level of discretion. Besides, he’s a married man and I’m not about to interfere with that. It would be messy, and bad for morale.” He sighed. “If he’s got a wandering eye now, we’re going to have a problem anyway.”
“You really think so?”
“Breakups are messy.”
Kunsel shrugged. “They kept the wedding under wraps. Heck, the whole relationship is something you have to squint to see.” Not for the first time, Kunsel wished he had a way to sneak a bug, a camera, a personal secret agent into the relevant living quarters.
Lazard shook his head. “Divorce is an ugly affair, from what I know.”
“Maybe they’ll have a no fault one,” Kunsel said, rubbing his arms against the office chill. “They could just go their separate ways? It’s not like they’ve got custody to fight over or anything. Not even a canary.”
“Let’s hope for their sake, and SOLDIER’s, they remain discreet.” Lazard sat back in his chair. “Speaking of which….”
“The camera feeds are all rerouted, Sir,” Kunsel said, saluting sharply.
“Good.” Lazard steepled his fingers. “Because while I do appreciate that Helmet Only look you’ve got going on, there’s no point scandalizing security.”
The good part of sleeping with Zack Fair was that the young man was a cuddler. He didn’t have the height and weight of Angeal yet, but he latched on to his sleeping partner like a barnacle on a hull. It was cozy sleeping with him, warm and comforting.
The down side of sleeping with Zack Fair was trying to get the hell out of bed. Genesis slid one leg out of bed, feeling around for his bedroom slippers. If he stretched just right, he could slide out from under Zack’s arms without waking him and get on with the necessary business.
He gain two inches along the mattress. Zack had other ideas. He instinctively moved closer to his heat source and grabbed on tight when he’d caught it. Said heat source sighed and considered waiting till morning.
Alas, there were hazards to the occasional glass of red wine before bed and morning was too far away. Genesis inched sideways to try again.
This time Zack threw a leg over Genesis’s hips, trapping the man in place with a knee pressing dangerously against his bladder. “Okay, that’s enough,” Genesis said. “Zack! Wake up!”
“What? Invaders?” Zack sat up, awake on a physical level if nothing else.
“I have to pee, Zack,” Genesis said. “You need to let me go.”
“Oh.” Zack shifted away, diving into the warm part of the covers. Genesis lurched through the dark and almost missed the bathroom light switch in his hurry to get inside. Pajama pants were much easier to deal with than fatigues. Genesis breathed deep and allowed a small pang of sympathy for what he had put Angeal through earlier in the week. The pressure soon eased and he shook himself off. He made the mistake of looking down into the bowl as he did. The water was red.
“Puppy, this is not the time,” Angeal began, gesturing for more cover fire with his free hand.
“But it’s an emergency!” Zack wailed. “Genesis fainted and there’s blood and I don’t know who else to call!”
“Wait, Genesis passed out?” A bullet whizzed past Angeal’s face and hit the dirt in front of his knee. “Did he hit his head?”
“I don’t think so. But Angeal, the blood!”
“He’s bleeding?” Angeal held his sword up to deflect the hail of artillery. Sephiroth got tired of waiting and charged on alone. “If he didn’t hit his head, where’s it coming from?”
“It’s in the toilet!” Zack was sounding near hysterical now. Or maybe that whine was the rocket fire.
Angeal stuck a thumb in his other ear to hear better. “What are you saying, he’s passing blood?”
“He’s pissing blood!”
An arrow thunked into the tree trunk beside Angeal’s head. “The hell?” he said, looking around. The sounds of a scuffle came over the phone. “Puppy?”
“It’s me, Angeal,” Genesis said, sounding a little breathless. “I’m fine, I just got a little woozy and Zack got scared, I’ll let you get back to the warmongering now.”
“Hold up,” Angeal said. “Are you passing blood?” There was quiet on the line.
“Yes,” Genesis allowed, finally. “I’m sure it’s nothing.”
“Are you getting enough water?”
“I think so. Now, Angeal, dear, I can hear the battle raging, and I’m sure you’re aching to get on with that, so I’ll see somebody in the morning and I eagerly await your mother-henning when you get back. Don’t worry about a thing, sweetie, l love you.”
“That I love you? Of course.”
Angeal snorted. “No, are you sure you’re okay?”
“I’m fine, dear.”Genesis liked to think he had nonchalant down to an art. “It was probably something I ate. I did drink some red wine before bed. Love ya, sweetie, bye!”
Angeal stared at the phone. “What the hell is going on back there?” A tree branch crashed to the ground behind him.
“Gen?” Zack asked. “Are you okay?”
Genesis stared at the phone for a moment before grabbing his head in both hands. “Good Gaia, I’m peeing blood!”
“What do we do? What do we do?” Zack was wringing his hands. Sword wounds were straightforward. This was something else entirely.
“Okay, first we’re going to calm down,” Genesis said, sensing that Zack was following his lead. “Take a few deep breaths, in, out, in, out.”
“In, out, in, out, like this?” Zack asked, chest heaving.
Genesis nodded. “Yes, like that. You calm yet?”
“Yeah, me neither.” Genesis hauled himself off the floor, careful not to look in the toilet. “Okay, okay, we need to think, what causes blood in urine. What causes blood in urine, Zack?”
“I… I don’t know! Should I?”
Genesis gripped him by the arm. “It’s okay, it’s okay, we just need to calm down enough to think.” It embarrassed him how high-pitched his voice had gone, but Zack wasn’t doing much better.
“I remember now, I think,” Genesis was saying, “Maybe I’ve just picked up a little infection somewhere.” He saw the suspicion on Zack’s face. “Not from slutting around! I don’t do that anymore, and SOLDIERs are resistant to most bugs anyway.”
“Did you get punched in the nuts?” Zack said, still sounding breathless. “One time, my friend, Luxiere, he hit the climbing wall wrong during training and he peed pink for a day.”
Genesis thought about. “Angeal and I did go a little rough before he got shipped out again… but no, that wouldn’t have done it. Oh, wait!” He grinned from ear to ear. “Maybe I have a kidney stone! That’s great!”
Zack scratched his head. “Kidney stones are what now?”
Genesis finally flushed the toilet. “They’re easy to take care of. Might not even need surgery.”
Zack tried not to watch the last of the discolored water swirling down. “I hear they burn like hell on the way down.”
“Don’t borrow trouble, puppy.” Genesis washed his hands, scrubbing with vigor. “Let’s go to the kitchen and see what’s around. I hear cranberry juice might be good for this kind of thing.”